No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
