ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
