Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
