then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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