I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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