Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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