So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
