By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
