How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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