Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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