i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
