Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize