The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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