you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize