Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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