how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
