rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
