nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
