Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I intend to get homeless drunk
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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