Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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