do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
