And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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