carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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