the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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