i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
