How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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