The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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