Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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