Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
4 words: hood of his car
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
