Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
