Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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