yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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