I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
