that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
