Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
