i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I know her cup size but not her name....
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