he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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