so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
