I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
