Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
