The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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