There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize