So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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