WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
