i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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