I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
