You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
