Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
