butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
