I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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