I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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