I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
worst night to have a conscience
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
