dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
