Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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