I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
