So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
