She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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