This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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