I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize