just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize