They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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