I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
